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[Monday
November 27th, 2006
01:34 am] |
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So even though as friends you had lied to me about everything I questioned you about.. I can finally forgive you. I respect you for finally coming clean. I realize why we broke up in the first place, I have closure. Im glad we can be friends now. You Kiel Hipple will always be in my heart in some sort of way. You will always be a friend to me.
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[Tuesday
November 21st, 2006
03:32 am] |
always go with your gult feeling, it never lies.
you lose friends, but in time you gain new ones.
dont ever be sad over what you cant control everything gets better with time.
if you deserve better never than dont settle, strive for better.
its worth it.
p.s. i have a wonderful boyfriend.
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[Thursday
October 26th, 2006
11:08 pm] |
So The Fray was amazing!! Me and Terrah had a blast! Friday I hung out with friends I havent seen in a long time. Saturday..I went to the cider mill with Drew and Dan! I love them. Sunday Justin and Ryan came and stayed until today. I miss them both already. This weekend is gonna be fun.. tomorrow party? Saturday no work, Josh's party, and Sunday, work and relaxation. Monday my boy is coming home for good! And Tuesday is Halloween with my 3 bestest.
One more thing, NICOLE STANLEY. you mean the world to me and I am always here for you baby. You are wonderful. Thank you for being my friend, I love you.
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[Wednesday
October 18th, 2006
08:02 pm] |
Thursday: THE FRAY !! haha with Kimmie and Terrah!
Friday: A nightmare before Christmas with KIEL!!
Saturday: TERRAH!
Sunday: Cider Mill with the family!
Monday: JUSTIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Best 5 days of my life!!!
Be jealous bitches.
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[Tuesday
October 17th, 2006
09:14 pm] |
So things have definately changed since high school. My whole life is different, my friends are different, Im different. It scares the shit out of me because right now, I have no idea whats going to happen or where Im going to be. You become so close to people and then let them fly right out of your lives. With some people I wish they would have never left. People make mistakes, I know I have made them. I hate losing people I care about, and the friends I thought I had this summer have by far failed me, and it hurts. Sometimes I wonder why I even try. I miss high school, it was so safe. I wish I would have went away for school. I have nothing here to hold on to anymore. No matter what I do I never feel like it is good enough, there is always something making me feel less than everybody.
Im totally crazy about a boy. Its hard to let go of the one Ive loved for a year, and the one I really liked this summer. Its funny, you think you know people when really you dont. So many people letyou down all the time.
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[Saturday
September 9th, 2006
01:13 am] |
So Ive been thinking a lot lately. I realized that maybe I dont need the people I used to. I dont need to do the things I used to, I just need to do things for myself, and make myself happy. I have been so depressed lately, and for what.. because of college, because of losing someone close to me, for life not being how it used to. I realized the people that come and go in my life come and go for a reason. Have I learned things from them, of course, do I keep our memories in my heart, definately. Do I hold grudges, not anymore. Why be angry? Theres no point, it only hurts myself. The people I used to call my friends, arent anymore, but thats ok because I have made new friends, and have became closer with others. I need to embrace life as it comes to me, not focus on the bad stuff. Do I start drama? Of course, everyone does at one time or another. Is it something to be proud of..no. Does it make me a bad person, no it doesnt it makes me human because no matter what there is drama in life, it is part of life. It doesnt matter if you are in high school, college, or neither. Drama comes and goes, and noone enjoys it, you just have to learn to move past it. Do I want drama, no..I start drama sometimes I think when Im hurt, when my feelings are hurt, and it makes me feel better to be angry about it then to be sad about it. The past couples months I have lost someone close to me, not indefinatly but for now. Am I hurt, yes. Do I miss this person yeah I do a lot. We became very close. I miss a month ago when I didnt have drama or when I felt I wasnt placed in the middle of something that had nothing to do me. I dont regret any decision I have made, Ive done nothing but try to get my life back together since me and Kiel broke up. I lost a lot of friends and Im trying to rebuild my life. Do I regret letting Dustin live with me, no. He is my big brother and we take care of each other. I love him to death. Im just trying to figure out who I am. Im sorry if I hurt you in the process, Im sorry if Im not who I used to be, or what you want me to be. Im sorry Im not good enough for you. I dont care who you are, Im just me. But I dont hate you, I dont dislike you, and I will always have you in a place in my heart, no matter who you are.
<3 Happy Birthday Jordan. I love you no matter where we are right now. I hope your birthday is what you expect it to be, and have fun at the concert. Sorry I couldnt go, I wanted to.
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[Tuesday
September 5th, 2006
08:03 pm] |
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So lifes been crazy lately. I havent really done much, just catching up with some old friends. Me and Jordan dont talk anymore, not because i dont make an effort but because neither of us do. Which is fine, anytime she talks to me she is just mean anyways, which makes me not want to be her friend. I dont need people who are gonna be mean to me in my life. I deserve better, and I deserve friends that can come over here even though their ex bf lives here. It seems pretty selfish to me. But whatever.. Me and Kiel have been hanging out lately, which is good, Im glad we can be friends, even though when he gets drunk he annoys me, but he always has when he is drunk. Ive been spending a lot of time at my cousins house. I love spending time with Faith and Kaytlin, I want to be there with them when they grow up instead of seeing them a couple times a month. College is ok, boring, but whatever it is school and I dont have to get up at 6 lol. I miss Ryan but i get to talk to him through letters, so thats ok. Terrah and D are going out. My two bestest. Im glad we worked things out, and I love her to death. She is always there for me, especially lately. The Fray concert is coming up...me Terrah D and J Cordle. I cant wait !!!!!! Of course I am the most excited about it. Well just wanted a little update.
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[Friday
July 28th, 2006
05:33 pm] |
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your wonderful.
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[Monday
July 17th, 2006
04:48 am] |
Noone really writes in this anymore but I need to say some things.
I just wanted to tell you that I have the best friends in the world. Thank you.
Im sad he is leaving, but we will be ok, I know it. Its only 4 months, and then he comes home to me.
<3
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[Friday
June 23rd, 2006
04:02 pm] |
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Its my birthday ! Im finally 18:)
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[Friday
June 2nd, 2006
12:18 am] |
Im finally updating. Its been forever.
In a couple days I am out of school. It makes me sad, and scared at the same time. I just keep thinking.. what am I going to do after high school, you know. I dont know, it makes me sad to think that people Ive came close to, Im never going to see again. Im very bad at keeping in touch.
Nothing new really going on, just working a lot, making some money. Me and Kiel are doing really good. Its funny how you can go from your life falling apart to everything coming together. All I know is that I cant wait for summer. Im very excited. I have an 89x b-dday bash.. anyone interested..Jordan..?
Tomorrow I do not have to work and me and Kiel are hanging out alll day. I am so excited. We are going to ru n some major errands, Im going to by a Hamilton jersey and we are on our way to palace vision ! YES ! I am so excited.
Well Im gonna go. Just wanted to do a little update.
<3
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[Wednesday
May 10th, 2006
06:42 am] |
Ive been extremely tired and exausted lately. Today especially. I completely look like shit, but I dont care.
I cant wait for prom, Im very excited.
Yesterday was Kiel and myselfs eight months. I love him.
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[Monday
May 1st, 2006
08:22 pm] |
I hate girls.. actually I hate people.. actually I dont hate all people just stupid people that start drama over nothing. Im tired of letting them make me feel like shit, so I dont care. Be mad, hate me, you will get over it ! I cant wait for prom and im not going to let a few people ruin it for me.
By the way, me and Kiel are doing good:)
<3 peace bitches
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[Monday
April 24th, 2006
02:36 pm] |
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I told Kiel today that I dont want to go to Prom. I dont want to go to prom with people that talk shit about me, and treat me so horribly. And what makes it worse is that they are suppose to be my friends too. I guess Kiel and I really are going to break up, but thats what everyone wanted anyways so I guess you guys are pretty happy huh. Im losing the one person that I care about the most and it hurts so much and you want us to break up.. do you even know how that makes me feel. I guess you got what you wanted.. I hope your happy.
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[Thursday
April 20th, 2006
11:48 pm] |
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i fell like your a thousand miles away from me. find your way back. please.. because i cant live without you.
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[Thursday
April 20th, 2006
05:10 pm] |
So last night me and Kiel almost broke up, or took a break, or I dont know. It was the most horriblest night Ive ever had. We didnt break up and we both decided that we want to be together but last night I realized that I need to change a lot about our relationship. Things havent been so good and it sucks. I need to change a lot of stuff or were not going to work out. I dont know, but I dont like how I felt last night, and how I feel today. It hurts. Ive never had feelings for someone as strong as I do Kiel and to think that I might lose him really hurts. I just dont know. We love each other, isnt that enough?
I havent been happy with mostly any of my relationships lately. Actually I havent been happy with them for a while, I just cant wait to get out of school, and I wont even have to see half of them anymore.
I missed you Nikki Lynn, it was so nice to see you yesterday !
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[Wednesday
April 19th, 2006
03:26 pm] |
Soo.. Spring Break isnt that bad. Yeah my plans got all messed up, but my boyfriend ended up staying home, which makes me happy, and Ive been working non stop, rolling in the dough. Im happy. Its nice to just work, and relax.
Since I got out of school Ive only done a couple sweet things. Went shopping, Terrah spent the night..hung out with my boy. Which is ok with me because its nice to not do anything. OH ! I went to the movies with Kiel Jordan and Krista. Now that was sweet.
Easter was ok, I spent it eating and hanging out with Kiel. I love him.
I miss you guys!
<3
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[Wednesday
March 29th, 2006
11:28 pm] |
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anyone have medicine for a broken heart </3
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[Sunday
March 19th, 2006
04:17 pm] |
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Wow to be honest that really makes since. The only thing Im not letting go is Jordan, but whatever happened these past 4 years happened, and I did learn from them, and Im ok. Im happy with everything I have today, and people who came in and out of my life, girls and boys taught me a lot. Change is good. If I wouldnt have been through everything I have then I wouldnt be as strong as I am today. Im graduating high school and moving on from the pathetic life of high school and that feels great, and the one person Im taking with me for sure is Jordan. I already know Im not losing Terrah or Nikki and Natalia. I worry about whats going to happen with me and Jordan but like I was told we were best friends and were one of a kind, and none of our new friends, or old, is going to ruin that. You are not going anywhere and neither am I. I have Kiel, who has been there for me through everything, that spends his every waking moment with me, and takes care of me. How ofter do you find that? Ive never had that, and it feels so good. I know Im suppose to be with him, and I dont want anyone else but him. I can honestly say that I love him, no doubt about it, and I have loved him forever, and I will always love him no mattter what and he will always love me. Ive been really sad lately about things I cant control but I know that I dont have to listen or talk to anyone I dont want to, and Im going to ignore everyone that trys to make my life miserable to make their lives better. Im ok, and if Im hanging on to the past then so be it, but shes worth it. Shes not the past anymore shes my present and my future, and my best friend. I love you Jordan D. Campangna.
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[Friday
March 17th, 2006
08:26 pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 cheerful |
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music |
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aar-move along |
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Ive came to a lot of conclusions today. I realized this is my last year of high school, I have about 3 months left, and Im not going to let anyone make me unhappy, because I really dont have anything to be sad about. Little petty things like being talked about, getting bitched at for "loving" someone I dont even talk to, not having very many friends, and working all the time, all these things make me stronger.
You can talk about me, leave me mean comments, leave nasty things about me in your away message. You can hate me or love me, you pick. You can be my best friend, or you dont have to be my friend at all. Its ok, because if you choose not to like me, your not hurting me. If you choose to be my friend, then fine, but dont stop talking to me or hanging out with me because of a boy, and if were falling apart dont let us drift away.
There has been a lot of people that have walked in and out of my life, and thats ok, because Ill move on, Ill get stronger, and the little friends that have stuck by me help me get through it all. Today I let an undeserving person get the best of me and make me cry, but thats ok because Nikki and I talked and we came to a lot of conclusions about this person, and I feel really sorry for her. And I feel a lot better. We talked about a lot of things today and Ive realized so much, and I cant wait to feel like myself again. Change is good, it happens for a reason, and Ill be ok.
I realized that I hate girls. except three of them.
I cant wait for spring break. I need this break away from everything but the few people that I have in my hearts ! MY bestest!! I cant waiit. Nikki I am making you come!!
But thats my heartful entry. Like it or hate it, dont read, whatever.
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